Really Bloggy

Much or all of the rest of 2019 will likely be a global warming year!!!

I have always felt it coming, you know? It is bad

People have probably been thinking that I should probably be connected to suicide prevention. It’s such a horrible thing to do to me because I don’t want to die but want all of my problems gotten rid of, including the problem of others thinking of me trying to commit suicide. And if they really think that I’m suicidal, then My life will probably go down the dark spiral, I will not only then die literally but also probably suffer immeasurably on my way to death.

Terrifying sounds & events have made me believe in the paranormal, like seriously!!!

The vast majority of people, in fact maybe even all people, have failed to ever think with enough insight about the world, as to generally make decisions that are ethical and moral. To them, effects on the world are practically or even literally invisible: this what I've considered as arrogance. Using animal products is not exactly about people being unethical to animals: it can come close to a perfectly valid explanation but it's not strictly perfect. Instead, the issue of non vegans is that most, if not all of them, don't think so much before doing things, and in this case, selecting materials to use for products or making food choices. In other words, it's not always that non vegans are unethical to animals directly or indirectly, but instead it's about the choices that they make, which are driven by impulse and lack of much thought. Many, or all of us, are from a country in which using or consuming animal products is normal. Being accustomed to animal products i

Often times, I have tried to recreate in my mind the past memories that I've had. Being an emotional person can be a truly negative aspect of life, because good memories can cause us too much despair in our last hours of life. To me, memories have not just been a combination of various senses: it literally has been a feeling that was represented to me in the form of an additional sense, that which is likely to be unknown to scientists, and the specific emotional senses that I've experienced unknown perhaps to all others, because all others likely haven't experienced the exact experiences that I have.  I found out shortly before writing of this, that recreating past memories physically is something that people who are soon to die are likely to try to do. I have indeed tried to recreate various past memories, some of which might never have happened and which never had much or any apparent significance to me: for me, recreating such events might have worked out mentally to som

I never imagined or even thought of a situation in which our own world could become so bad as it has because such a situation in which we live now was never something that my thoughts could even think of. We are living in a situation that's unthinkable in about every sense of the word. Keyword=arrogance & aggression

It sometimes has seemed that it'd be better if everyone died, peacefully and without pain.

If Employees, guys, at electronic stores such as Best Buy have connections with theoretical physicists, I might be thinking about the wrong stuff all along

I might be in the United States, but that doesn’t prevent me from thinking of being dead often. United States is definitively over hyped, overrated. As a perfectly sane person, I don’t understand why the world is the way it is, and why politicians and the vast majority has not done anything around here particuarly about the environment.  Happiness

So much lack of success by society, and one the main reasons is that we have learned, strictly, that the superstitious aspect of the world is nonexistent: we can ignore it and totally forget about it. The paranormal and supernatural is virtually nonexistent to many people these days, we live in such a world where rules apply which are so rationalized. It's our own arrogance that should bring the entire world down, so that we can start to realize our own negativity.

I might be mentally ill or something to some extent, but I've often pondered my well being. I've pondered the possibility of being suddenly overcome by pain, in a world where most people are really spoiled. I have tried myself to enter into states of various pain, to try and understand various types of suffering, and it's a world that's literally indescribable. I don't know what to further do with this information though.

First of all, the warning here is that something happened to me that's very disturbing. That being said, let's move on. I got an electric current to my genitals. That's not something that's supposed to happen in the nation where I live, it wasn't someone else though, and it was not intentional. It was a condition, and I don't know where it comes from. It wasn't caused by a source of electricity. It has been happening often to me out of nowhere, like an unseen energy. It first started in High School and it felt like being kicked in the genitals, but once in a while it happened at home.

Being upset about everything in life like I have been, can be frustrating. But when there's valid reason for it and the upset is reasonable because things actually are wrong, it's beyond frustrating. I'm still like a child who spends entire life trying to make their life a better one but can't because of the weight of it all.

Someone might say to you: Think before you talk. Don't talk, just think.

the OP's frustration = understandable but I was abused and became violent as a result,

Seriously, my mind is lost at night. It doesn't make sense. Nazi Communist hybrids taking the shape of Iranian Cyber codes, being sent to remote North America and shit like that. Crazy. One person told me about thunder outside. "It's rockets". Then all of a sudden, as I was awake, I opened up Facebook and had lost multiple friends, at least some of which were popular, and it infuriated me mainly because the people who had done so were friends with some of my friends. Most importantly, the answers never come to me about my internet failure.

What does it mean with someone alone in the middle of a field many miles away from any town, at three in the morning, with their phone held out and turned off, talking to it: "How are you sir? Welcome to Kamchatka, which shampoo should I get?" It's a dream of mine but what does it mean?

Could someone might be able to produce an outlook for me, to show the probability of danger at night, using a scale, where and when for as large of an area as possible. For example, consider things such as the likelihood of occult groups gathering together, and where dangerous people are at, as well as danger in general. Please?

Someone talking about Japanese people: "terrorists". Sounds like Japan might get into a conflict with a middle eastern country/ countries

Any way to create an outlook for the night, so that I might be able to find the night? Like, weather can be predicted so yeah

I'm relatively stupid, never being able to imagine anything. When I die I'm going to regret being this way, but it takes too much effort to not be stupid in life. I don't realize it but I'm stuck in place all of the time

I once wanted to be a vegan but now want to die and the world to go down too

I once wanted to be someone who cared about the environment and be against the changing of climate by humans. But unfortunately now I'm someone who wants the world of people to be destroyed because of my never ending dread in my own life.

Spending time in the fall and winter outside, trying to get acclimated to some serious cold temperatures with minimal clothing on is my thing. Because realizing that after some time i can have superpower is great. It's what makes me feel better. Much like listening to music. In fact being outside and enduring various environmental elements with no protection from the environment is my kind of thing.

For better or for worse, Mike Pompeo will likely be future president and/or vice president

Life's been bringing me far more negative than positive. And I don't want that. The negative things have been in the form of psychological pain, nightmares, as well as others. What good is life for me if it doesn't benefit me and only makes me suffer? My life's great experiences are outweighed by horrible experiences, so I never benefit because the balance will never be in my favor

I'm open minded and know that some "fantasies" can become real: and I'm terrified that they will. I have felt stuff in my mind before it happens to me, and horrible things are going on my mind, and it'd be better for me not to experience them. And as for horrible situations, it's people themselves who take me there and I don't want them. Please understand what this is about.

I have a deep fear of life, literally.

Everyond has failed me. Everyone has failed to teach me totally what's correct and what's incorrect in life. Life feels like failure. And as long as it feels that way, it actually is a failure, because I can confidently rely on my intuition in this situation. But see, I've come to accept this, but I'm not scared because of life and myself being a failure, I'm scared that there are going to be dire consequences that I haven't signed up for in life, and that's why I've often thought about it. See, my fear of horrible atrocities happening to me in life are like a myth but myths are correct sometimes. Fantasies that I never wanted could come to life, not in a self-fulfilling style, but because they can happen regardless of my psychology.

Hopefully, bad stuff happens on this world, and doesn't improve until myself improves. Because without a great life, I don't feel like the world should be great.

I wished before in my life that my dreadful emotions and states could affect events far away from me, such as weather or technical malfunctions, by a mechanism such as telepathy so that it wouldn't need to be just me acting and that other people could also act to improve things. Ideally, things out in the world could be bad and wouldn't improve until I myself would improve: this way, it could be possible for other people to finally realize on time, and with urgency, that something's truly wrong in reality, and ideally my indirect influence on the world this way could bring the people to me. The clues of solving what's wrong with reality could be linked to me, and that is my hopeless wish that never is never delivered.

I have often wondered if the initial, bad, stages of my life ever were an indication to others about things to come, and if the bad stuff happening aside from myself ever even affected people: bad stuff such as the weather changing or bad events in the world. It would of been nice probably, if my message from my mind could be directly connected to world events, and so people could get a cue as to things aren't just wrong with me, they could and should also affect the world, so that people (not only me) could act and make a difference.

Am I not normal for what I think and for having emotions? Because it has seemed for long that other people have been thinking about me as not normal. Am I not normal for being crazy because of my trauma that's been caused by experiences in my life?! Staying up as long as I can, thinking about the same thing ever day, but I never find a way out via life's ways. I spend every time in life knowing that for lots of times in life I would have been better dead than alive, because of the traumatizing effect caused. I hate that the majority of people have a different opinion though. I often have wondered whether or not things could be better dead than alive, but aren't ever sure.

I have an aversion to being alive and being traumatized

Life is a situation, one of which I don't belong in.

What's it like to have value to society, to be able to have something to enjoy? I'd like to know some day, but am certain that I don't have that privilege because no one will allow for it. Why was I seriously born, and why must I exist in this place and time. I don't want myself to go down, I want this entire society to go down because if I didn't get a chance at anything then why should anyone else

Even though I'm not much good to anyone or anything, can you at least still listen to what I have to say?!

Unfortunately, my voice isn't the sound of music, and based on the way I've been treated over the time of my life, I can't get anywhere. And my "strange and unusual" behavior has potential for repelling everyone, but it is me who himself has been repelled by many things in life. I'm not sure why I was born to begin with, honestly. Listen once to me!!!!

It's time to stop writing, hopefully you might've learned something from the writing that I did today.

My life ends up as nothing, and I've known this for a long time, which only makes it worse.

Does anyone else have thoughts of being dead rather than being alive? I practically don't exist to most people anyways, so is it much of a big deal? My forsaken existence, why did any of this even need to begin? No reason. Just emptiness. Never finding enough to make it worthwhile, my life is too much let down. Happiness and all that is great from life is what life pays, but based on my miserable dread and all of my emotions, I'll never get paid enough to even reach a zero level. Goodness from life never counteracts the negatives, not even to reach zero.

I have been wondering if anything actually exists. Apparently I don't. Because if my own self existed, was real, then I would be treated by people generally well and I would have some worth to other people. I wouldn't be the victim and life wouldn't be what it is, and last but not least there could be good feelings and/or benefits waiting for me at the end that could compensate for all of my psychological misery on this forsaken world. All that exists in my life, every aspect of it is pointless. I see with perfect vision of the future. I'd like to actually exist some time, to have experiences.

Life is like a drug, one that religious people want to get high off of and crave more of

If I start to feel unusually great for some reason, such as listening to music using great audio gear while observing the night sky by the beach, I want to die. Because great feelings are an illusion, only make me feel small in relation to reality. I've often felt this way, that I'll never be as good as the feelings are, and never get an ounce of happiness that many others get an excessive amount of. It feels bad, like literally. Like literally life keeps letting me down, preventing me from being positive and optimistic. And life is too much learning. Learning about many things is something I don't deserve, because I won't use the knowledge to a moral and ethical advantage. In the end, I never benefit from any of this bullshit called life.

Life has made me powerless, or at least has made me feel so. It's also made me vulnerable. I've been feeling powerless and vulnerable when with other people, because people are not safe beings to be around: many might be safe, but the ones that are dangerous are enough to steer clear of everyone.

I've been writing like a nihilist, but think that there should be morality

Decisions:  All information on the internet about the best sound quality from each of these is no better than chaos. I don't make up my mind, just dream and ponder, you know? I just look at this comparison for the rest of my life perhaps, just like with so many other decisions, ones that involve life in general

I don't know what to do next. It's time, 12:30AM and I don't know the next step, whether I should get up, say something, go to sleep, or what. It's always time and I never know the correct course of action in life to success!!! It's all relative and all time is the same but still...

Who's going to care for the consequences of my life?

If only my parents and family knew the correct stuff that was wrong...if only society knew correctly what's wrong and what's not. See what I'm saying?!

My family has treated me like shit. You can't do that unless there's a valid reason, you know? Yes I've been outgoing in some aspects of life where I might've had a life that was more fair than others, but it never was extreme or much. My family doesn't realize that it's people besides them who've also been punishing to me. Peoples' views on life has often been critical to me, and I've been trying to stray away from the criticalness of life. But, in the end, no matter how it is, and no matter how I am, I'm still a piece of shit to everyone. I've very often been punished by various people without apparent reason, and it's been making me mentally unstable to insane. But is punishing someone as necessary as it usually seems? Initially it wasn't me who knew everything about life from the start. I was punished before being taught, and I've viewed that as unfair, for what it is. It's not like what I was punished for was something th

Astrophotography gear and setup is so expensive to get anything great of it. I don't understand this bullshit. I might catch something interesting through a telescope very rarely to never, and the costs can be at least over $14,000, so what am I going to accomplish using only $1,200 worth of astronomy setup, if the entire setup isn't portable anyway? All in all I don't understand some of the bullshit in life.

I don't like to live these ways, staring at nothing all day and having a blank mind: in a sense it's the opposite of having sensory overload. I'd been spending several years already, craving stuff. Instead of satisfying my cravings, my mind has been filling with dark thoughts during the day and only nightmares at night: and often it feels like drowning in all of these thoughts, is better.

The moon and the sky can be a boring subject very quickly, and I'd like to observe it all day just to have something to do and not need to look all of the time at the ceiling, because looking at the ceiling makes me miserable. The more I look, the more I die inside. The more I die inside, the more I lose grip on reality: The more I live, the more I die. The more I visit the same places and the more I see the same stuff everyday, the more I wish that it could all end.

I've been wanting to do a livestream of the moon. Not sure if it'll work or if I've met the required needs for this though. The rules aren't clear it seems, whether I could use my phone or one of my cameras. My Sony RX100 II is great for the job, probably the best of all of my devices: it only can record up to HD resolution though. I remembered that my phone can do that though although the Sony is probably better to use the zoom feature. It'd be really neat to use my phone for making video using a telescope though, wouldn't it? It'd also be interesting if I could use my laptop to aid in a live stream using a traditional camera, using wireless technology. I've written already this: my current telescope isn't made particularly well for photography and/or making videos.

Feels horrible and miserable when all you have in life is practically only to look at the same stuff every second of your life. I feel like you don’t understand what i’m saying, it’s literal. It’s understandable that stuff can be enjoyable or make for happiness, but when stuff has no more aesthetic, how long must i endure the look of it? When it’s not pleasing anymore, i might like to not even think about it existing. Life can become not pleasing anymore, and the Best option seem like to not let this reality exist anymore when stuck like this without a way. Know what I’m saying. Get me away from all of this.

I don’t need depressing music or writing or anything like that to make me feel dark thoughts: all it takes is peoples’ current behavior, that is, how people behave on social media, as well as family. Overall it’s mundanity of life that makes me want to die every day, that takes away precious Time from me on a non stop basis.

I’ve been feeling cursed with all of the stuff in my life going amiss and me unknowingly breaking stuff often. Seems like boredom has made me a bad person, having Violent thoughts too and wanting to carry out bad stuff. Society never teaches me the correct ways, and never teaches me in a way as to be kind to me. I often felt like i’ve had mental breakdowns and often feel uneasy from all of this. I’ve been having the urge to do things that might destroy my life as well as others’: feels like being left without a choice honestly enough. Society in the here and now has made me feel like being imprisoned by all of society’s ways or rules about how i’m supposed to be. It’s a daily thing where i’ve spent hours looking at walls and the floor, or being in a downright awkward situation, literally every second of every day. Until it finally stops, you know?

Need to stay at home so i don’t get beaten up. Some have been very mad at me, specifically dangerous people who i don’t know what they are capable of. I didn’t do wrong, i don’t know what their problem is, am scared and nervous: If i don’t get to see any of you anymore, know that it wasn’t my choice and take care!

Technology can be complicated, even to me. I've been recording so much stuff hovering in front of the moon on Saturday night, but with video editing software being so difficult to figure out, I've been having serious trouble trying to accomplish a full edit of even one of my videos. I tried Shotcut which worked in creating individual frames from video. I also tried Kdenlive for making my videos clearer and reducing noise, but I don't figure the stuff out even after looking for help online and in the user manual. With every push of a button, I don't see what exactly has changed to the video and I'm not sure what it is that I've done, so the video isn't properly enhanced. Most of the objects that I've recorded between the moon and Earth weren't alive because apart from moving linearly, they apparently didn't move at all, as anything alive would indicate a swerving motion and flapping of wings. During the time that some of the objects were recorded,

Why are things so expensive, even in America? Seems like I can have one hobby in life and keep investing in it, but if I want multiple hobbies it's astronomically expensive! Astronomy can quickly and easily get well over a thousand dollars for an entire telescope setup to work properly and to deliver practically anything, in terms of performance. And photography is something in which every two or so months, new accessories are released, and usually they are enticing to buy; it can all easily become thousands of dollars, at least for someone like me. Also, new camera technology has been coming out on average about once every four months, and usually it's in the form of pretty expensive gear. Technology is also something that's enticing, because something new can so often be found, and soon is needed, or at least strongly desired- what makes tech so desirable and at the same time so difficult to pass up is that it's generally on the border between what's needed and wh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc4Iwh4UNi0

Ever since the months of December 2017, the area where I've been living in Michigan has been diverting weather systems around itself. It's like a high pressure system that stays in place for a prolonged time, like the weather system that steers Hurricanes away from Hawaii. During December, as well as the rest of winter of early 2018, snow was very often diverted, falling close by and around my area, but never exactly in it. Then, during all of the seasons of 2018, precipitation did the same "magic trick". The elevation of southern lower Michigan is almost the same everywhere, including my area, and the amount of water is practically the same everywhere in terms of lakes and rivers. There are no large areas of flooding here except perhaps on very rare instances. In conclusion, there aren't any environmental factors native to my region (at least that I know of) that could've diverted weather systems around. Sometimes the world is a strange place, with anomalous

Even without a higher power that can be more powerful than us, my firm conclusion has been that people have an ability to know that something is seriously wrong, when it's outside of their usual senses and even if it's happening far away with no direct knowledge of it. To tap into that ability, is to tap into something very poorly understood, but something that's very crucial to survive life.

So here in lower southern Michigan, there was supposed to be an elevated level of severe weather. Instead, my specific area has been missed, and there has been lightning in various directions around my area, for a time span of about 12 hours or longer, almost never ceasing. It's late summer by the way and the temperature isn't anomalous, it's a maximum of only 88 degrees Fahrenheit but the low temperature is at or above normal. I like lighning and thunder around me at night during sleep. I have had the feeling also though that other people were feeling scared in the state.

Sennheiser, Soundcore, Bose, or Nuforce?Wireless Earbud reviews are varied in the sense that the official reviews come from different well known sources for each model. For me, sound fidelity is of most importance, followed very closely by battery life. My budget for this stuff is $100. Earbuds can be staggeringly expensive at the extreme (at least $1,099): makes me think that even spending a few hundred dollars might translate into missing a significant amount of stuff such as, for example, sound fidelity. Limited information is a reality even in the United States and even for some electronic products, although it doesn't occur often so people are probably usually unaware of this. Soundcore Anker Liberty Air is the first choice. Then is Sennheiser 6.00 BT. Third choice is the Nuforce Be Free8. Wow, this stuff is crazy ($$$$), bass, etc. My head was blowing up while doing my research!!!

I'll probably end up building a telescope mount amd pier myself. I don't know what type of scope to get, a Newtonian to be able to gather lots of light, a specialized/APO Refractor, or a hybrid which is called a Cassegrain or Catadioptric. Portability or ability to easily transport the telescope is important but then i'd need to get a very expensive tripod. The first step of the journey, getting the necessary money for funding the project, is to begin relatively soon. But by the time i can get a new 🔭 i will most likely invest into buying or making an all sky camera, maybe. But if i do end up making an all sky camera, it needs to have very important aspects to it, such as being cooled and having a large sensor so that the setup woth regards to gear will be worth it for a long time and be put to fair use.

Tried to combine two 20 second exposures of cumulus clouds today, and by the time I set up all of my photographic equipment, it was dark to so extent. I would like to post my results on Flickr and other photo sharing sites. I pushed the levels of the image to about the maximum level, but that unfortunately resulted in far too much posterization. This was the best that I could do because of the poor lighting. I had pretty much only two options before creating this abstract: to use no filters, which would result only up to about 1/20th of a second, and the second choice was to use my 12 stop ND filter which is what I did. The ND filter resulted in a 20 second exposure. It was very late in the day, and the lighting on the clouds was too flat and so I had to push various image settings to the extreme. I like how it looks, but to the vast majority of people out there this is probably not a desirable photo in term of aesthetic look. This is a moderately zoomed in photo of the major seve

People fighting against me because of my introversion, people who aren't alright people to even know, let alone be with. No similar interests, no likes, etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHg2RGMCgqo

Love, peace, and calm: it's all around us. And we've failed to keep it so.

The urge to have sex (especially underage sex), eat so much and with such variety, as well as other immoral things, is rampant in our society. The time of this writing is 2019, when peoples' urges are far stronger and more powerful than what they should be allowed to be. We don't set any limits when thinking about revenge, sex, drugs, violence, and other such things, do we?! People who are arrogant in their ways make me feel insulted. Without them needing to insult me by saying anything, I feel insulted and/or offended. I'm a very emotional person with the capacity to respond morally and ethically to the world, and I've been living in a world full of bastards for far too long.

Hormones have been overpowering me for as long as I can remember, making me want so much that's wrong (if you know what I mean), and refusing the wrong things have only produced extreme trauma in me. Lost opportunities are one source of trauma in my life. Unfortunately, the opportunities that I've been urged to take advantage of because of my hormones would both lead to immoral and/or unethical consequences, which I can't allow. 

Why doesn't anyone recognize me as terrorized? Why aren't other people recognized as the terrorists to me and all that has been happening to me? Why just stand there, doing nothing? I can't even describe what it's like, and also can't come to terms with justice in this world. Family doesn't help, religion never helps, friends are not really friends, strangers never help. So disappointing guys. So  disappointing that everyone would prefer that I writhe in pain, of the psychological type. And it would be really disappointing to me if I hurt myself, because I don't deserve anything bad. The people who have traumatized me for my entire life shouldn't deserve the lives they're having, having fun on social media and getting likened. I truly, and honestly, as well as very often, want to get into drugs- not just because of this, but because of my hormones that run wild, making me desire what's wrong. 

People who've been terrorizing me aren't punished, and it's terrifying. I never recognize this world. It's terrifying for future generations as it is for me, because I've never had anyone to protect me from insults and offensive behavior. As a result, I've been psychologically unsafe and that lack of safety has had it's consequences already. Usually people probably think that it's not something that causes much of anything, but for me it's cost me my life, because my life is now worthless. Trauma is real in this situation, and I'm traumatized because I haven't been able to defend myself and I've failed against other people. I often wake up, not just wishing or thinking, but knowing, that being dead is better than being alive. I never went against people like I could've: I don't know why. And now I fail at everything, never get to do anything, always bored, but also not being able to think clearly out of disbelief of all of this. D

I've been wondering if Cannabis is good for me. But it seems like Cannabis is likely to seduce the mind's reward system. Instead of the mind relying on it's natural process of reward and making feel-good chemicals, Cannabis can essentially hijack that ability, and the mind might be altered in a way such as that of not being able to be reliant on it's reward system, because as a result of Cannabis, the Serotonin/Dopamine release with regards to stimuli can become uncontrollable, with overall decrease of serotonin and/or Dopamine as the mind can try to regulate itself by trying to find a balance, preventing too much serotonin and Dopamine from being released. It's been seen by other drugs, and there doesn't seem to be a reason for Cannabis to be different.

Listen to "Beg For It" by Iggy Azalea & Mo. Mo has incredible vocal skill!!!

Light is so fascinating. I wish that we can either create technology, or adapt, in a way as to allow us to see infinite variations of light. For example, choose an indefinite number of parts of the electromagnetic spectrum to focus on at once. And each part that has been chosen could come from widely different, vastly separated, areas of the spectrum: for example, by taking a very narrow range of microwaves, then a very narrow range of X-Rays, and finally a very narrow range of Gamma Ray energy into focus. Assign each to a single color receptor, like NASA has done to their photos, and be able to have as many of these receptors as is possible to make; perhaps technology somehow will be able to expand the number of receptors in our eyes. 3D printing could make artificial eyes to allow this to be possible. Or, alternatively, we can combine a narrow band of light with a wide range of other type of light: For example, take all of light wavelengths from Gamma rays to Infrared, and let the se

Religion is a form of control and putting it first is a mistake. I don’t think that people can be sure about anything because questions never stop arising. Therefore, religion is never a certain way to go, and you can’t say with certainty the thing in which you believe, because certainty is a deception. The only Time certainty rules is when one decides that it’s the end of thinking- in other words, laziness

Wonder if people from the United States will read my blogs?

What is this bullshit about putting god first, and about Google being a good company? I don’t agree with such things with it, do you?

Weather might be influenced by EM waves; unlikely, but possible. Okay, so since acoustic levitation is possible, then if nanoparticles are sprayed down toward the surface of Earth from thousands of feet, they can maybe ride EM waves, and if one could look at them, the outline of the waves could be seen, akin to how sunlight can be seen if it interfere with particles of dust.

For some time, I thought that I might be a piece of plant life living somewhere, but my consciousness belongs to a person. Perhaps it is the plant, somewhere far and away that consumes my  consciousness while I sleep? If so, then why can't we be that plant after we die? And perhaps it's a non-living thing such as a piece of wood that we become after death, because when I was unconscious and devoid of dreams in my sleep, I felt just like that, a piece of wood. So then one can wonder stuff such as whether there's a virtual black hole that deletes our consciousness sometimes? Can atoms share information? is the entire world connected by information, at the smallest of scales? I don't know how to explain all of this to the best extent, you know? But when a person is totally unconscious, he or she feels exactly the same as what non living matter does. And so you could actually be a piece of matter somewhere far away without knowing about it, based on the way that consciousn

A hurricane isn't cool until it reaches a place like Greenland or Siberia

It's a BFD for goodness sake

The world can be very perfect, and so can life. I've fucked things up, and my life has fucked myself up. But, also things have fucked up life. It's really not a good time to be alive, by an standard, but what choice can I have?! It's a dangerous and terrifying world, and it's the attitude of people who I know, as well as people who are close to me, that are too dangerous for my survival in life. I think that people should feel good that I even exist at all, you know???

My Computer/laptop doesn't work. Great. I bought it new in 2018. And my TV, I never try to watch anymore. You might find it funny but...digital displays are portals to evil, and looking at them, you'd never expect that something dangerous will come one screen. I mean, isn't that true?!

Hats off to anyone who actually gets it right in life...because I'll never achieve that, even if I lived longer

I've been walking through life, because walking was the fastest way to get through it all. I've been wanting progress though: I've been wanting to take ever larger strides and go through all lives finally, to get across parallel realities, you know?? I don't understand it all enough to fully explain though. You know?

Recently, I thought that things were the way that they should've been. Also recently, I learned that it's not true, that's because of how deceptive life is. But in general, life is deceptive, and makes us feel too comfortable. I was thinking about everything becoming different, but little has changed. Like I already wrote, I might need to spend over $1,000 to make things better. And at the time of this writing, I'm virtually worthless.

I have at the time of this writing not decided about which image editing program to purchase: Affinity, On1 Camera Raw, etc. I have the need for great HDR and focus stacking, and for each of these tasks, alignment is important. Aurora HDR is not too great at that but has better HDR options than the other software that i had in mind. Affinity is the cheapest and can do a little bit of each task, while On1 is about twice as expensive and is decent in various tasks, with a very interesting RAW Converter. For focus stacking only, Zerene Stacker is perfect though. It's such a difficult decision. Decisions, decisions...

I've been writing, looking at my TV, looking at my computer monitor, and I've concluded that everything is wrong. When anything feels wrong, it is, I know lots of things are wrong, and it's an uphill struggle trying to make it like it should be. Never does any benefit come out of this.

My life is dead like always: no benefit, no happiness, nothing . I'd like to bring more interesting news but it's not something that I can do, I'm afraid

Ever wonder how to stop the bullshit that's been happening? Use cloud seeding, nanorobots and start dropping billions of tons of water from the sky to stop the storms.

So Hurricane Dorian stalled while it was a category five storm...then moved toward Canada at 45 Kilometers per hour. But while it moved over Canada, I was listening to incredible music: what else can I do?! Ponder what would happen if storms moved faster the colder it got? Think about a fast moving hurricane impacting the Arctic? And not to talk about the droughts, floods, and all that is happening regarding climate

Quantum mechanics & consciousness? I put two and two together, man. Now, they can try and hold me down, but I'm going to get it right. All of my dream are running wild, I'm going to chase them down. I might have used song lyrics, but it still is true.

What if the Ghost Hunters were right about paranormal activity caused by someone's anxiety and emotions?

It's not that I'm not interested in stuff, but I have a lack of anything fun to do, and nothing that benefits me.

I get the same amount of fear from people here in the United States as someone who's been meeting with gangsters, occultists, and demons. I'm not going into whether demons exist or not, but the bizarre people who I've had encountered in United States is terrifying and is exactly like meeting a demonic entity. I don't feel safe in the United States. After enough looking around, you might also find such people, so unless coming to the United States is totally necessary, don't even consider it.

Anyone know who's going to win tomorrow, quantum physics or relativity?

I don't read like I once did. I don't create times like I used to. I'm not as creative as I once was. I get almost no viewers or subscribers. And it's still life, you might say? A life that's been fading away from me, until it becomes a life that's of no use in any way, and of no practicality.

Bad luck and dreadful situations have been arriving at me, because they've been returning in circles

They are people, who came from a remote Russian town, that was peppered with radiation, and now cause havoc here in North America in the suburbs of Michigan. The radiation made them crazy!

The way it is, it's not going to be fine. I'm going to probably have to pay thousands of dollars to get back on track with my life. It didn't need to be this way, and that's what's discomforting to me, that I initially could've averted this situation. It's pretty incredible how little the mind can think at times, and realize only so little!

I don't get why I can't just die: my feelings are dreadful, ominous like a tsunami, and deadly

I've declared to myself that the next time that I press the delete button, it will be to delete Facebook, nothing else

Don't take life by granted, because you can get too accustomed to it, and soon it might be night time.

Sunlight doesn't make me feel safe, it always feels like pitch darkness, which is terrifying of itself. This I know, because for me sunlight can end anytime, and I don't know the when and where. Now that's truly a bad thing to realize, but sadly true. Don't get too comfortable, first of all. Essentially, we live in two realms at once, one is death (darkness) and the other is light (life), and the reason that the dark always exists even though we don't ever think about it that way, is because as long as the potential for it exists, there's always the parallel world of potential. And when we die, we enter this world of potential, it's a parallel world; one that we may finally realize, that it exists.

The fucking thirty or so foot waves caused by Hurricanes might derail the plan for a cooler than average autumn this time over the Atlantic Ocean? Whatever effect it does have on near-term climate and weather, perhaps it be best if nature itself could organize areas of wind with origins in the middle, propagating wind from that origin. In other words, the exact opposite of a Hurricane. This type of propagating wind idea is very reminiscent of what often has occurred recently over central eastern Antarctica; but in Antarctica, the patterns are quite enormous, and I was also thinking about something akin to that over the tropics and subtropical zones, but much smaller and more numerous.

Since the vast majority of this summer weather of 2019 has been calm, and the winter of late 2019 is supposed to be a "roller coaster", can we safely assume that autumn is somewhere in between? And can we then say that early fall will most likely be slightly like a roller coaster, while late fall more so like a roller coaster? See, I've been thinking deeply about scientific stuff, at least the ones that I've been able to understand, and it's been a struggle. Just wish that someone out there sees this and replies with an answer.

When can we expect snow in Southern lower Michigan? I've been waiting for it. 😲 I wish that looking down at the southern hemisphere during its winter could be an indication, by the way. If only the world worked so simply, eh?

Antimatter can be fun, but what if it can be used in a way as to make stuff invisible? Propel something by antimatter, and what if the fire produced by the propulsion is invisible?!

I've watched The Infographics Show about the most powerful armies in Europe, but I've also watched something about the world going to get a cold future. I've also been listening to stuff about quantum physics, including gravitational waves and dark matter. I don't know what it all means exactly, but I'm almost certain that all of this is connected. Gravitational waves are like light, and can be used perhaps to detect dark matter, where normal light can't interact with the stuff. Russia is the most powerful European country, and the United States is lesser so but is probably better technologically. Russia is one of those first world countries that would probably want to see global warming do it's way so that it could have access to what's underneath the soil and/or permafrost (methane). Several nations of East Europe are currently considered, probably by a large majority, to be second world countries, and I can see where someone would be coming from to th

People are so terrifying, that I'm not eager to put them to the test. M y ideas are so complicated that not even myself wants to dabble in them anymore, but also because no one wants any interest in them. I'm on my own, without anyone to defend me, as it always was in life.

These things are Forever in my mind

The expectation was that I was going to get a camera that's a great hybrid that incorporates both a full set of photo features as well as a full set of video features. In reality, the expectation wasn't met. By the way, my camera without a lens was $1,098. Why wasn't the expectation met? keyword: Cinema. What I really should've known beforehand and what I really should've expected was a Cinema oriented camera, and that's not strictly the same as a video centric camera or camcorder. Something like a Canon 1DX would work great for my uses. My $1,098 went towards a camera that can do 4k, at about 100 MB/S, while a Canon 1Dx can do about 800 MB/S! Both 4k capable but the Canon can do a greater transfer rate and is a huge stills camera, as well as being able to record various aspect ratios in 4k. It's so disappointing.

How do you get occultists to assemble a ritual in a Hurricane or a Tornado? and how then do you make those goggles for yourself to see purely in Infrared, to sneak up on people?! $$$$$