Really Bloggy

“Man is the most insane species. He worships an invisible God and destroys a visible Nature. Unaware that this Nature he’s destroying is this God he’s worshiping.” ― Hubert Reeves

Cleveland, Ohio: oh now I remember. The Cleveland airport, where I was going through security and TSA agents shouted at me and basically told me to "Fucking move" in a harsh tone of voice. I decided again, out of so many times in my life, that I despise people for their behavior! After arriving to Washington state, I felt the pain that I experienced at the airport and the rest of the vacation was lost to history because I was shocked like I still am to this day. It's the behavior that's been directed towards me on a daily basis, not just at the airport but also in school, at home and at work that's been making nothing in life seem fun or enjoyable, so life seems like it doesn't matter and it often seems that I actually would've been better to have died a long time ago so to not experience other peoples'  behavior

Every time that anything happens in my life, whether it be my phone ringing or me putting on the wrong shirt, makes me feel like I don't even know what's happening to me because it feels so horrible. It's like feeling sudden and unknown pain and it's extreme to me. Because no single person thinks that I'm being honest though, my urge of taking all of society into a poor state is all so much greater and prevalent. Everyone think about me as crazy, and it's unjust to my well being. Why me?!

People hate me because they'd like me to die and they'd like to destroy me! Treating me with hatred, not realizing that one day I could die tragically without warning. Then hatred was my entire life and practically all that I ever knew!

I never succeeded in letting anyone know that I don't want to be treated wrongly: I never succeed this way, no matter where I go! How am I supposed to act to let my message be accepted correctly by anyone, and why do my actions need to be regulated or strictly controlled to make me act these ways?! I was accepted into society, only to discover that society is one which controls my actions meticulously!!!! Being mad at me and giving me nothing but silence, without reason, is condemning to me and makes me want to die! It's literally manipulation and where is the empathy?!

I’ve been having dread at my workplace because of peoples’ bad attitude towards me!

I was supposed to go on the internet while software was running (Photoshop Elements), loading at least a hundred photos from my memory card, but instead of clicking on Microsoft Edge, I clicked on the button next beside Edge and it was another piece of software, and all of a sudden my RAM usage started going up so fast that my laptop essentially crashed and glitched?!

So much stuff that I've been reading on the internet was totally destructive.

Why do people portray me as being on the winning side of life? It’s betrayal and humiliation

I read about INFJ on YouTube, supposedly the rarest of all personality types. About seventy to one hundred percent of all of the traits of such a person seemed to match my personality! One specific trait that really interested me was the preference of INFJ people to write as opposed to talk. I’m not sure which method I prefer, but in the past I thought greatly about using telepathy or “fields” instead, which if possible, seem to be the best preferred method for me of making discussion: that might be because it’s a way of discussion that I’ve never tried, and because it’s different to usual methods, might be why it might seem preferable to me. It might also be the most efficient method. Perfection is something that I didn’t think about until I realized that it was a concept or idea though, and I have been obsessed with it ever since, and perfection is a trait of INFJ, so I don’t know if that’s strictly a trait that describes me. Over several years, perfection has seemed so tantalizing t

My dreams are usually very bad nightmares, but what's really strange is that I've kept seeing what seems to have been the same people, numerous times! Who are they?! Are they ever going to reveal their face to me?! Could they be the people in my life who are of some importance?! also I don't want to die or harm myself because of the recurring dreams!

Back in the day, my fantasies were investing into a hobby or having the time of my life. Today my fantasies are to have well being and to treated at least at a five out of ten level. After all, I've given up on expecting to be treated any better than that!!!

I tried to message someone who's been treating me like shit, to try and get an answer. Their answer is the reason why I don't want any talking with people, and I've been wanting to die!!!!

I don’t realize how much I’ve been harassed at all of my jobs