I never find anything to make life worthwhile

Does anyone else have thoughts of being dead rather than being alive? I practically don't exist to most people anyways, so is it much of a big deal? My forsaken existence, why did any of this even need to begin? No reason. Just emptiness. Never finding enough to make it worthwhile, my life is too much let down. Happiness and all that is great from life is what life pays, but based on my miserable dread and all of my emotions, I'll never get paid enough to even reach a zero level. Goodness from life never counteracts the negatives, not even to reach zero.

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