What I don't understand should be important, and what should be made important in this world is what I don't understand!!!

I don't understand why people can't allow others to die if they want. Why is death so taboo? Sometimes I wanted to die, and I know to this day that it would've been the correct choice for me to make, to get rid of these unshakeable feelings and not need to have to take those forsaken medicines which only numb me to the entire experience of life. I know full well that my suffering isn't worth all of this stuff. For example, I wouldn't want an indefinite or never ending supply of anything, or the entire universe, in exchange for any of the things in life that I'm averted to, such as the location that I'm at and the type of way I'm made to behave: nothing's worth any of my well being is what it basically comes down to. If I could get rid of all that causes me suffering, I can be well and inexperienced in what is wrong for me.