Does anything practically exist in my life?

I have been wondering if anything actually exists. Apparently I don't. Because if my own self existed, was real, then I would be treated by people generally well and I would have some worth to other people. I wouldn't be the victim and life wouldn't be what it is, and last but not least there could be good feelings and/or benefits waiting for me at the end that could compensate for all of my psychological misery on this forsaken world. All that exists in my life, every aspect of it is pointless. I see with perfect vision of the future. I'd like to actually exist some time, to have experiences.

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