i don’t want to behave like everyone else or follow everyones’ rules

I’ve been feeling cursed with all of the stuff in my life going amiss and me unknowingly breaking stuff often. Seems like boredom has made me a bad person, having Violent thoughts too and wanting to carry out bad stuff. Society never teaches me the correct ways, and never teaches me in a way as to be kind to me. I often felt like i’ve had mental breakdowns and often feel uneasy from all of this. I’ve been having the urge to do things that might destroy my life as well as others’: feels like being left without a choice honestly enough. Society in the here and now has made me feel like being imprisoned by all of society’s ways or rules about how i’m supposed to be. It’s a daily thing where i’ve spent hours looking at walls and the floor, or being in a downright awkward situation, literally every second of every day. Until it finally stops, you know?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Thing less talked about...

When I see strangers that look nice, and I know that this was the first and last time I’d see them, I feel like writing my story about my different state of consciousness that is on the other side of the emotional spectrum, not the positive one, and I want to enter into a positive state of consciousness, different from the usual ones. The courage of my mind is not merely enough to proceed any further with anything at all, however. And I feel like I have died and I just have the false perception of still living the same life. Oh wonder, how things will work out, not being aware of just how bad things are. And yet you keep trying to push me, force me, to undergo life as though it’s a positive experience despite my inner despairities. It's something that only gets worse with time. After all, shouldn’t life be about pleasure, not pain, and/or perhaps one shouldn’t obsess over pain but over pleasure, and be addicted instead to pleasure rather than pain...
Read more

My future vision of this week...

I have a vision of this week, most likely on Thursday: "The truth about happens on Thursday, March 21, 2019, will be unveiled to the world news, and the news will report on it using a negative connotation. Violence will ensue Friday night, exactly two days after the start of astronomical spring. And the first day of the season, the 20th of March, a strange occurrence in the United States, and a controversy. But out of all that's been on my mind, it's a vision that is most surprising...one that describes something, a dark but quick moving object, descending down to Earth" It's that time of year, again, when strange stuff starts to happen, and I honestly wish that it didn't, that instead more peaceful stuff could happen. I'm not one to say stuff with certainty each time, though, I'm just gathering data, either that or using intuition
Read more