Please make these horrible dreams stop!

Atheists, at least many of them, are nicer people than religious folks. Religious people have the tendency to become mean very easily, although there are also people who are; let's put it this way: it can be anyone's guess as to who they are, they aren't atheists nor theists, and they are extremely frightening to me. However, what I was going to write, religious people seem to me in the past to have acted uncontrollably, at least when it has to do with emotions. Back in the day, I would feel like having an emotional breakdown, but that's not what it was, although I had this mental discomfort which I was never able to explain, and I would feel like breaking and throwing stuff. Emotions are what cause pain, more than the physical stimuli themselves. I can't come to terms with how things are the way they are. I prefer being a rational rather than emotional person, because emotions can cause so much misery. And misery is a negative aspect, because it essentially can ruin your mind over time, and if that can happen, then it can lead to yourself as a person being ruined. Science is something that has been experienced, while no one, as far as I know, has had any truly magical experience. Yet there’s something about being rational that I can’t undergo, and that’s that being rational can lead you down a very dark, and dangerous path, where there’s no hope. But the problem is that I’m almost totally convined that being rational is the correct way to go about life. Yet knowing that it can be horrible is something that I can’t come to terms with. Neither atheism nor theism seems to be the way of life.