Aspects of my life..

Anyways, there are things or aspects of my life which I’m still hesitant to talk about. You know, I’ve seen someone good looking, at least once, and then all of a sudden I had to walk away. But that’s not the only bad part of this story; because, as it turns out, the pain doesn’t really begin until you’ve realized that you should’ve, or could’ve entered in a phone number from them. But I knew at the time that for reasons yet unexplained, I couldn’t muster all of the courage that I usually have in life...and so the story goes, but in my case, this one’s different. You see, after I unwillingly have to abandon someone, it feels that I’m in a great pain! Another example of pain that’s excruciating, literally! And so you can tell me, that everything that’s known to us, is only in our minds. That makes me hurt even more. As awful as pain is, I wish that there was an alternative, such as escaping it for eternity. I wish that there was a place where pain didn’t exist. But then again, this could be a very controversial topic. You know, I once read about an effective medicine, one that’s unfortunately toxic for people, that once taken, can get rid of pain for the rest of your life. I wish there was something like that for my psychological pain too. But I also wish for a medicine that could get rid of my feelings that I have when abandoning someone else. After getting pain in my life, and after knowing that others simply want to ignore me, the stronger my urge to get into more pain is.. But otherwise, I’m very tempted to experience the highest highs in life as quickly as possible, and to eat the spiciest things available in the world, and pain seems to be something that I want, but avoid. It’s an unrelenting life, and quite honestly, the ways in which I’ve been feeling, I wouldn’t wish even upon my worst enemies! Is it really worth researching stuff when it comes to this?!