An overwhelming time to live has been making me want to give to others!!!

Much of 2019 has been overwhelming to me, in various ways. For one, there's my failure in life, and also there's been my curiosity for science, as well as my overwhelming obsession to make things go how they truly are supposed to be. During late October, I started reading and listening much about science in general, but mostly about physics. I recently bought a new bought by the famed Japanese physicist & have also reading materials from the past that I never read fully!! One of my favorite YouTube channels has been Seeker. I'm also to get at least one more science book this year, but I'd also like to spread science by giving away science books and/or magazines away to people for their birthdays so that I can receive the science information more quickly, or to let someone else read the stuff that I'd like to read, for me. That way, I can focus more on other stuff other than science as well. Otherwise, I might not have time to read everything that I'd like to, even if it involves a very specific type of science. One of my favorite sciences is that of quantum physics.