A main reason for my failure in life

I'm convinced that my later life is a punishment for the fact that I haven't changed the people around me or changed the world (at least the world around me) after I myself was degraded by people, and because I haven't made a difference (I never had any chance) to make the world a better place for the future and for people in the future, is why people have deemed me a failure. But in so many situations when I was berated and destroyed mentally by people, I found it impossible for some reason to react and/or say anything, although I did have the capacity in other situations to do so. Without any exaggeration, it's quite literally true that people have seemed to make me enter a state of mind in which I had no power, even though it might sound crazy it was like magic to me. The things people have been teaching their kids can also be at play here, not just the people who've caused outright harm to others. And the people who've been causing me mental damage would like to take advantage of me by manipulating my mind even further than what the parents have done.