I never get any answers for my life

I've been feeling awkward with my friends, to the level where it's traumatic. I don't do the things that I could be doing. I've been finding it difficult to sleep because it's all wrong in some ways. I wanted answers, that's why I needed people, and I never got the answers for any of this. I'm to the level where I don't like anything, even though I'm not depressed. But you know, depression is along with mental instability, always must be an excuse that other people have been using, for my bad feelings. People tempted to use mental health issues as reasons for my state of mind, and my situation, but I know full well over years that it's not mentality that drives this situation of mine. In fact, it's my mentality that changed, but it changed for a reason, in response to a bad situation in life, so that I can avoid what's wrong and not get myself in deep. I can't live a different life for the time being though, I'm just "a nothing who thinks wrong about everything".
Instead of people getting it true about my life, I've been left to suffer constantly

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