I don't want progress, it never helped me with my personal life

I have an extreme aversion to almost all electronics in this house, including the TVs and cell phones. I was hoping that a power higher than me could help me out with life as it has been going with humans, but it has never worked out, and work makes things worse no matter what I was to earn from it- Wanting to die, whether or not it's a mental type of thing, hasn't been on my mind because I don't want to risk going to a mental ward, but am afraid that depression is better than my life currently. I got emotionally traumatized by peoples' dealings and the way this world is: without moderation, there's no progress, and I want to stop all progress, because there's only me to moderate other people who've been angry with me and who have mistreated me. Without an end to progress, people won't learn to no longer mistreat me, and without suffering, there seems to be no learning for them.

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