When we get thrown out of our plane of reality

When I really put much proficient thought into it, I can't decide if I'm dead or alive. Like, I could've died a long time ago, and caught up in the delusion that this is the actual real conscious life, because it's all an illusion. We keep living in a state of potential fear and panic, we never stop to think that we might have died but our mind is still waiting to switch off and we get thrown out of our reality. "Philosophy" as they might call it, yet it's not pure peace in our consciousness until even thought itself stops working; when the time seems to go by so fast that we can't stop to think or anything. We are all constantly stuck in limbo and it's beyond our awareness, never knowing what it is that we need; and therefore, it's an unnecessary suffering because we never get what we want; we are hardwired to need specific situations to happen to us, and unless we're convinced that we've experienced all of them, we can't imagine being dead.