Something I've always known

In the past, I wondered why it is that we deserve to live while others get to die, that's when I realized why our life is shitty, because we all deserve the same fate. I don't like when people talk about depression and disorders related to sadness, because they never address it in an appropriate way, or at least not in a way that's universally helpful. I never find it as a good advice for myself, because the more I apply it to my life, the more it costs. Every new years' day since I graduated High School, I certainly thought that everything was fine, but it was all of a delusion; now the possibility that it's still not true certainly makes me want to fall asleep and never awaken. It people at least acted in a reasonable way with me, I could maybe cope with all of this.