If we could be on the same boat, It doesn't matter how much I've benefitted from life

No matter how much I've benefitted from the most negative aspects of life over the past years, such as being blatantly rejected because I was punished in the first place; being punished by others because I was punished, they (the problems) will never be forgotten for how severe they were, and I can't tolerate those of us who've placed these problems upon me!!! I've thought too much about such a fact, because it's true. It's either the worst or the best for me, and I've been essentially taking my life all of the time just to not have it be the worst, to not let my fears of the worst come true; I wish that we could all be on the same boat, that there'd be true help and that I could become the best, not the worst. "It doesn't matter how much I've benefitted from life"; the quote is accurate to me because the idea is accurate, because no matter how much you benefit from life, you'll most likely become put down emotionally by other, because they couldn't give anything to you to help. Also, as to the quote, even if you benefit only slightly from life, you could be just fine, as long as your well being is great, something that definitely can't be said of me. My well being is practically nonexistent; I never show this, but people never understand it; like I might've said before, I wish that I could express myself in means other than just writing and talking-for example, art.