True Talking about my life

I've been awake for a long time, and finally I've realized, "What is this (reality)? Seriously, reality-what is it? Why am I in it too? Why was I here at all? No one and no ideology, neither philosophy and not anything of that nature has ever had success in explaining my life to me, why I'm here at all. Fuck my thoughts and my negativity, is that TRUE?! Everything has been normal for what seems like my entire lifetime, and yet it seems to be true, that "normal" is nothing more than boredom, when life is normal it's boring; I can't live this way. So please tell me something to convince me otherwise...

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