After making a premonition, I feel horrible

I keep trying to know what the future has in store for us, and every Time that I predict something perfectly, a long, Dark, and empty time starts to develop. Sometimes, I might be able to predict news events, but to my dismay and disappointment, cannot predict events that happen to myself, and these events are unbelievable, but ruin my life quite often. If one word is said wrong, or if the wrong word is chosen, i get mistreated and all blame fall on me. For quite some Time, I’ve felt something impending coming my way. And each Time i find an exit plan, my situations only become amplified and cause my head to feel unpleasant and i want to lie down. I almost feel sick. I want to literally stop and stare at one point for an indefinite time, and while i want to look away, Just the mere feeling of looking away gives me anxiety. sometimes, neither life nor death seems like an acceptable state for me to be in. I forget the reason for why I’m Herę in the first place, it doesn’t even matter, that’s why. For if I can’t be doing what i like and it’s not just scary, life is also dangerous.