Life is pain

In the past, I promised to myself to not allow life to get to me; to not let others get to me in any way and hate me for simply being someone who is acceptable in various ways; Lately, I've felt like a failure. I've failed to achieve these objectives. There are still things in this universe which are not controllable, even by the most careful experts. I have also failed to do what I wanted after realizing that not everything's fine with me yet. So what sense is it to ask me for such stupid, pointless, stuff for years? The conclusion is none other than, "there is no sense to life". I've only been degraded in life, and the more answers I've gathered, the more questions I've had. All the while, not a single person notices that something's wrong with my life, that it's all nothing more than bullshit; everyone thinks about stuff that's not the most urgent and important in my life. Society doesn't give a shit about what I have to say, or what I'm thinking. There have been many times, when I've thought about people who have died and thought to myself, "they are in a place of peace", while life itself doesn't seem like anything. Life surely isn't about peace of mind, nor does it have much to do with happiness. Throughout my life, it has only seemed like pain, and I don't want to be in pain.