What if? 12/26/2018

This is one of the most unexplainable, and yet indescribable feelings that I’ve ever had! I can’t come to terms with these feelings. It’s like the opposite of empathy, know what I mean? The world lacks any empathy, when all it does is stay perpetually out of my reach. I don’t know where it comes from, though I’ve been having an excessive urge for the unknown, or at least that’s the best way for me to describe it. Makes me want to go crazy, knowing that I can’t explain it to all of you, at least not in a way that makes sense. I feel like I've been murdered sometimes...when I look at certain things or if I get an emotional outburst, I feel like I'm gone for good. Know what I mean? My unconscious emotions have been eseentially a portal to another dimension, and yet there are many unexplained, unimaginable things in life that I’ve not yet experienced. But at the foundation of it all, I’ve discovered that even though things can be bad in life, even though it might not make any sense at all, there’s most likely a definite reason for it...