I want to get ecstatic, get hyped, and elevate the senses for the euphoria...only to want to die afterwards

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What if somehow nighttime was warm and daytime was cool, while (despite) at the same time, the Earth’s north pole centered at a 90 degree angle to the sun? Or what if everything stayed the same, but with winters and autumns warming up while summers and springs cooling down, to an exact extent, so that the temperature was more or less the same (within ten degrees or so Fahnrenheit) while the nighttime and daytime temperatures might be exactly the same? What if it was cold on Earth, for example, 0 degrees Fahrenheit, but the sun was 10 times as bright but still the same size as our current sun? What about perpetual nighttime with high temperatures? What if the day and night lasted only minutes, but the gravity was so immense that nothing flew away? What if, while either day and night lasted extremely quickly or extremely slowly, relatively speaking, at the same time, we could try to modify it and cause totally unexpected results? I mean, what would the results exactly be?
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Negative action leads to negative reaction in my life

The reason why things happening in my life never happen in my favor, is because I've been failing in life often initially. and then after the times I failed something had to happen against me, like cause and effect. I don't understand how or why though, it's like unexplained: how does a negative cause lead to a negative effect. In other words, it's like a negative action leading to a negative reaction: in theory, it shouldn't be possible but I've been observing it over many years of my life. And that's how it's been with other things, what is essentially circular reasoning. So much ideas in the world are founded on this type of reasoning. With hatred from various people, combined with strict rules leading me to think that something gravely dangerous will happen because of my failed past, my memory has faded many times and very frequently, so much that I forgot what exactly I was supposed to write to finish this sentence: my psychologically ravaged mind...
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