I feel lonely much. I've been in the search for 4k monitor, and 4k video editor for doing neat video. But once again, it seems that I might rarely use those things. It seems much that nothing can ever get done here and now and that I should probably place my hobbies aside for an indefinite amount of time. I tried to open hundreds and hundreds of photos in my Photoshop Elements 15 program and it's been taking overnight and over the course of most of the day to open all of them, not even to make them into another format. I don't mean to complain so much, but it's so true.
Negative action leads to negative reaction in my life
The reason why things happening in my life never happen in my favor, is because I've been failing in life often initially. and then after the times I failed something had to happen against me, like cause and effect. I don't understand how or why though, it's like unexplained: how does a negative cause lead to a negative effect. In other words, it's like a negative action leading to a negative reaction: in theory, it shouldn't be possible but I've been observing it over many years of my life. And that's how it's been with other things, what is essentially circular reasoning. So much ideas in the world are founded on this type of reasoning. With hatred from various people, combined with strict rules leading me to think that something gravely dangerous will happen because of my failed past, my memory has faded many times and very frequently, so much that I forgot what exactly I was supposed to write to finish this sentence: my psychologically ravaged mind...
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