No one wants to find me anywhere

What do people still not know? Confused and dreadful is my life, just about all of the time. I have been forced to conceal my emotions, which are deadly, but at the same time, I don't want to arrive in an insane institution. I have been peered at by an occultist from about five feet away. No one, except maybe strangers, want to find me alive, and it's dreadful. I still await and it's a painful thing to endure. I don't know what this is all about. I hear the news nearly every day, but it never brings me any type of feeling. I know that I'm to go on a two week vacation this month, but it doesn't bring me any pleasure or solace. This entire existence of ours... It's all just matter, that never mattered to me.

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