I honestly don't know what life is about, why I'm alive. I've been lectured for so much, thousands of hours, about life. But I still don't agree with just about any of it, I've got my own philosophy that seems to be correct in all situations. I got ideas and thoughts in my mind that seem to be correct all of the time; I don't reject them, instead I've embraced them because those thoughts are what make me myself, and let me stand out from the crowds. Unless you might think that we're no more than strange people. I like to have a steady life, not going up and down like a roller coaster. People are strange, being normal one time and all of a sudden don't want to be part of your life. But I'm not strange. Perhaps different, but not strange. Strange people have strict rules, and act critically in various situations, especially if it's a "critical" one. But the people who I've met, are far over the top in this respect.
Negative action leads to negative reaction in my life
The reason why things happening in my life never happen in my favor, is because I've been failing in life often initially. and then after the times I failed something had to happen against me, like cause and effect. I don't understand how or why though, it's like unexplained: how does a negative cause lead to a negative effect. In other words, it's like a negative action leading to a negative reaction: in theory, it shouldn't be possible but I've been observing it over many years of my life. And that's how it's been with other things, what is essentially circular reasoning. So much ideas in the world are founded on this type of reasoning. With hatred from various people, combined with strict rules leading me to think that something gravely dangerous will happen because of my failed past, my memory has faded many times and very frequently, so much that I forgot what exactly I was supposed to write to finish this sentence: my psychologically ravaged mind...
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