My god, why do you allow stuff to keep happening to me? Why is it that you allow things to always go wrong, and everything that I keep trying to do perfectly to be off? Even stuff that unexpectedly happens to me in life is off, and it's always a pileup effect. it keeps leading to more and more problem, eventually my entire life gets fucked up.I can't do like this. I mean, it makes me wish that god could stop everything from happening. I know that's not a good thing, but what can I do, if everything is ruining my life? I keep thinking about life in general, and how it's been seemingly been perfect for all of these years, and... fucking stuff keeps happening, I keep feeling it in my mind and then it has to happen for real, WTF?!
Negative action leads to negative reaction in my life
The reason why things happening in my life never happen in my favor, is because I've been failing in life often initially. and then after the times I failed something had to happen against me, like cause and effect. I don't understand how or why though, it's like unexplained: how does a negative cause lead to a negative effect. In other words, it's like a negative action leading to a negative reaction: in theory, it shouldn't be possible but I've been observing it over many years of my life. And that's how it's been with other things, what is essentially circular reasoning. So much ideas in the world are founded on this type of reasoning. With hatred from various people, combined with strict rules leading me to think that something gravely dangerous will happen because of my failed past, my memory has faded many times and very frequently, so much that I forgot what exactly I was supposed to write to finish this sentence: my psychologically ravaged mind...
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