Some days I can't fall asleep for fear of dying or getting killed... it seems like it'd be worse than getting stabbed to death, for example, or shot to death, as long as I'd know what was happening. Ahh, knowing what's happening; the key to a great life. Life is supposed to be a great experience, no matter how much time we think we have left. We can't waste any more time. We need to follow up on our desires immediately!
Negative action leads to negative reaction in my life
The reason why things happening in my life never happen in my favor, is because I've been failing in life often initially. and then after the times I failed something had to happen against me, like cause and effect. I don't understand how or why though, it's like unexplained: how does a negative cause lead to a negative effect. In other words, it's like a negative action leading to a negative reaction: in theory, it shouldn't be possible but I've been observing it over many years of my life. And that's how it's been with other things, what is essentially circular reasoning. So much ideas in the world are founded on this type of reasoning. With hatred from various people, combined with strict rules leading me to think that something gravely dangerous will happen because of my failed past, my memory has faded many times and very frequently, so much that I forgot what exactly I was supposed to write to finish this sentence: my psychologically ravaged mind...
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