Something that can't be understood

I honestly won’t ever be the same again. I don't think that you'll understand this unless you're me. I’ve been traumatized over the past few weeks. I seen a man look at me with a face that’s simply indescribable; it was worse than anger. He looked, actually stared, at me as though I’d killed someone. I felt condemned since that time, like I mean...I was just walking to a store, not getting anyone into trouble. I suppose that there are things that I don’t know about which get me condemned without my prior knowledge. Why can someone feel this way, one can only wonder. How is it even possible to feel the way that I’ve been feeling? Every time something happens, and it gave me bad luck, and it’s happened every time. I could anticipate bad luck and my whole life going down, and seriously no one gives a care. Many people can’t actually get along with me, right from the beginning. When I got stared at, I had hoped to die to get the stare over with; in fact, it’s not just the stare that’s excruciating to experience, but it’s also been the feeling that I’ve been having ever since. I mean, no matter what I can think of, no matter what I do in this life, I can’t escape reality. What in the world do people need or want from me, and how is it that I deserve to be condemned? I wish I could just not experience any of this, despite all of the positive things that come from life. I feel concerned so much so, and worried, that it’s not imaginable. Some day I want to be immune to pain, at least if it’s phsychological and mental stress or concern. I don’t know why, and I won’t figure it out, but people aren’t concerned about these things, I’m the only one in this world who has this concern that caused me stress and ultimately, make me practically a failure. No matter what I do, eventually people will catch up (is that the right wording?), or at least life will catch up, and I will probably be blamed for everything. Because of the way I respond and react to the world, to people, to reality, all blame might be put upon me, despite others being responsible. I will live in misfortunes. People will probably get mad at me right at the start, and so much that they will want me dead. Uncontrollable situations make for all negative feelings. I’ve been hoping, begging for consonance. Someone to please console me with all of this. People have been having the tendency to get uncontrollably angry with me, spontaneously, without warning and without any real reason. This makes me hurt. I can respond by feeling

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