This is one of the most unexplainable, and yet indescribable feelings that I’ve ever had! I can’t
come to terms with these feelings. It’s like the opposite of empathy,
know what I mean? The world lacks any empathy, when all it does is
stay perpetually out of my reach. I don’t know where it comes from,
though I’ve been having an excessive urge for the unknown, or at
least that’s the best way for me to describe it. Makes me want to go
crazy, knowing that I can’t explain it to all of you, at least not in a way
that makes sense. I feel like I've been murdered sometimes...when I look at certain things or if I get an emotional outburst, I feel like I'm gone for good. Know what I mean? My unconscious emotions have been eseentially
a portal to another dimension,
and yet there are many unexplained, unimaginable things in life that
I’ve not yet experienced. But at the foundation of it all, I’ve discovered
that even though things can be bad in life, even though it might not
make any sense at all, there’s most likely a definite reason for it...
Negative action leads to negative reaction in my life
The reason why things happening in my life never happen in my favor, is because I've been failing in life often initially. and then after the times I failed something had to happen against me, like cause and effect. I don't understand how or why though, it's like unexplained: how does a negative cause lead to a negative effect. In other words, it's like a negative action leading to a negative reaction: in theory, it shouldn't be possible but I've been observing it over many years of my life. And that's how it's been with other things, what is essentially circular reasoning. So much ideas in the world are founded on this type of reasoning. With hatred from various people, combined with strict rules leading me to think that something gravely dangerous will happen because of my failed past, my memory has faded many times and very frequently, so much that I forgot what exactly I was supposed to write to finish this sentence: my psychologically ravaged mind...
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