As I sit here, hurting, I think about the nonexistence of people’s forgiveness towards me.
As I’m tempted to death to hurt myself, I remember that there might be a place called
forgiveness, which I can call home...
For years I’ve been hoping people would forgive me, and not leave me. But now I realize that
life is an ocean, and forgiveness is the shore, which can’t be seen and can’t be reached.
Negative action leads to negative reaction in my life
The reason why things happening in my life never happen in my favor, is because I've been failing in life often initially. and then after the times I failed something had to happen against me, like cause and effect. I don't understand how or why though, it's like unexplained: how does a negative cause lead to a negative effect. In other words, it's like a negative action leading to a negative reaction: in theory, it shouldn't be possible but I've been observing it over many years of my life. And that's how it's been with other things, what is essentially circular reasoning. So much ideas in the world are founded on this type of reasoning. With hatred from various people, combined with strict rules leading me to think that something gravely dangerous will happen because of my failed past, my memory has faded many times and very frequently, so much that I forgot what exactly I was supposed to write to finish this sentence: my psychologically ravaged mind...
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